Tuesday, October 21, 2014


I just got home. I'm actually tired from the information overload that I received today. But it's okay, I can manage. :)

Well, things are good with work. Aside from the fact that we are bombarded with lots of information almost everyday, we get along well. It's just that there are still some people who are not cooperative enough to abide by the rules.

It's actually something that should not be called out over and over... Because when you work, you are supposed to focus on the task at hand, rather than to dwell on things that you should not be doing during those 8 hours that you are inside the confines of your office building. It's really easy to abide by the rules and regulations of the company especially if you are a learned person and if you value your job.

We're actually a pioneer batch. So let's just say that it's a 'Make or Break' scenario. It's tagged as such because there are just so many things that people or even clients are expecting of us. We're expected to act accordingly, excel in what we do, focus on the things that we need to accomplish and not do anything stupid. It's easy to digest rather than to say it out loud.

It's just that there's this one person in our group that is best considered as the 'Rotten Tomato'. Why you ask? Let's just say that the person is actually doing the opposite of what we are supposed to do. It's really frustrating in a way because if someone fucks up in the team then we might lose the freedom that the job provided us. We might also lose our jobs for just one simple hiccup like that.

It's automatic. Go to work, cover your ass, do your part well and you and the team will succeed. But if there's someone like this, the team might go akimbo or something. It's just that I HATE people who are very indifferent. To the point of even breaking so many fucking rules just to make their own point. Sure, you are a rebel but you also have to consider your team. You have to consider the many possible consequences of your actions. You just have to use your damn brain to do everything right.

Ugh! I'm just tired. Nah, I won't elaborate on this. Maybe some other day. I just want to sleep today. Haha!


Thursday, October 16, 2014


It's been a while since I last updated this blog. I have been very busy with my work and with school, that is why I could not keep up with the blogging thing. but as soon as my schedule is all fixed, then I'll blog a little bit more. Haha!

Anyway, I have been training for almost a week now. I just hope that I'd be able to pass all the exams and stuff. I just want this to work. There.

Anyway, so many things left to do. I still have to research about my thesis so there... It's all crazy and I am just so frustrated with how things are in the academic department. I just want everything to work out perfectly. That's it.

Anyway, I have to go sleep now. Have a shift in a few hours. Haha!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Happy mode...

I have a new job and I just started with the training. We've been playing and watching movies right now but it's all right. It's going to be bloody bonkers come real training. And this is the part that I am dreadful of. It's hard... I just hope I'd be able to get through everything and pass everything and stay for a long period of time. Waaahhh!

Saturday, September 27, 2014


I have been checking my previous blogs and I must say, I had a lot of time laughing my ass off from those previous posts. Haha! It was super funny. Not to mention that I was all too emotional from all the effing stuff I had to go through before. Haha! Oh golly. Haha!

I just turned 26 yesterday. It was a very good celebration. I celebrated with my family and with Ted. We just stayed in the house and it was sooo good. :) We finally had the net reconnected. It usually takes them 24-48 hours to reconnect the internet but yesterday only took a couple of hours. Hehe!

It was a very good birthday celebration. Though it was quite sad at some point because this is the very first time that I celebrated my birthday without my father. :'( Though I know he's also celebrating with us from heaven. I briefly smelled flowers last night, so must be an indication that he paid me a visit to wish me a happy birthday. :)

The video above is my birthday song. My nephews are super cute. :) I just love my nephews to bits. :)

I will be starting my work Monday at around 5 PM. I came back to Sykes so there. I also liked the account. I am again assigned as a TSR so there... I guess I should follow my sister's advice "Nasa I.T. ang pera" so even though I am used to being a CSR (and only became a TSR once in my career), I just have to check this out. So there. We're also not going to work in one of their sites. Heard that we will be deployed at the clients' site so it's another new thing for me. I'm also excited as hell. I hope for everything to sail smoothly.

It's also our 5th anniversary on the 1st of October. I hope I'd be able to give him something (like a token or something) and I hope that we can celebrate this anniversary of ours. Waaaahhh!!!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Random Post

Mood: Happy
Listening to: Find You (Zedd ft. Matthew Koma and Miriam Bryant)

I am so happy and I feel accomplished. Haha! Finally, my mom taught us how to make her famous Rellenong Bangus (stuffed milk fish) and it was good! :) I like it very much. :)

I cannot wait to be with my hubby. I want to fast forward everything... I miss him to bits already. I really want to feel his hugs. It's super comforting. I want to be with him and never get separated from him... Literally and emotionally. Haha! Lovestruck puppy! :P

I cannot think of anything right now. I am currently thinking about him. Haha!

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Of Designer Brands and Group Buying Sites....

Okay, I just got to post this because I heard something a while ago...

So my boyfriend's cousin told us earlier that a couple filed a case against a popular group buying site for selling fake designer items and calling these so-called items "authentic". Basically, from what I heard:

- A couple bought a luxury bag from the said group buying website for I think Php 6 thousand pesos or so (not sure of the exact amount...)
- They received the item just fine, but were a little bit iffy about the bag's origins
- They went to the store where the original bags are sold and asked if the product they received from the group buying site is really authentic
- Store inspected the bag and declared the bag as fake

So now what the couple did was they went straight to DTI (Department of Trade and Industry) to file for a complaint against the group buying website because they were selling fake items and declaring them as authentic or original. This is the first time that I am going to write something regarding this so if ever you are planning to get yourself a luxury brand or something from a group buying website, you must read these things first:

1. Just because the ad says it's original, does not mean that it is indeed original
- Surely, would you buy something that says "imitation only" or "fake" or "replica" on the deal itself? Let me tell you this: This is a tactic that all group buying sites use. You can not single out any group buying site that does not do this type of thing. It's a tactic to draw people's attention to the merchandise.

2. They only get the images of the merchandise from the internet. It's not always the real bags
- Obviously, this is for creative purposes. They get an image from the internet and paste it on the deal... BAM!!! They get people to believe that's it's actually the same thing. Hell, NO! It is not. Sometimes, you still get the "Made In China" tag inside the bag.

3. You get what you pay for.
- Seriously speaking, if you want to get a designer bag or any luxury item, you have to think... Why are they selling the items for more than half the price? Well, if you have the common sense, then you'll get the answer immediately... Because they are not really the original item you thought it was meant to be! Sure, sometimes the items that they sell also came from the same factory... But do not expect for it not to have flaws because the items that they sell are mostly rejects or overruns. You do not have the right to look for any authenticity cards, tags, protectors, and whatever marks of authenticity. If you want something that's really original and not fake, better head to the store itself. You're sure to get your very own authentic item there.

4. Don't even think of having the item authenticated at the store
- It's really ridiculous if you head to the store and ask the sales personnel to check if the bag is authentic. Because chances are, you will walk out of the store feeling embarrassed and at the same time enraged because they're probably going to tell you that it's indeed fake. So don't even bother. You know deep down that the item is fake. Stop with the false hopes...

Some tips when browsing through your favorite group buying sites:

1. Research before you click that "Buy" button
- Check the deal's Fine Print and details carefully. If it is for a food or service, check the participating branches. You might think that the branch nearest your vicinity is actually part of the deal when in fact it is not. Check the seller of the company of the deal first. If you have extra time, search Google and check reviews on the establishment. It pays to be a smart shopper. Sometimes, there are deals that require a minimum amount of vouchers before the establishment honors the deal. So make sure that you have the ample amount of vouchers (if necessary) to claim the deal that you purchased.

2. Check the Validity Date of the deal
- Sometimes, people get sooo excited to click the "Buy" button even if they do not read the deal's totality first. Another tactic of some group buying sites: They provide the validity dates on the very end part of the deal's creative article. You have to make sure that the deal is still valid come claiming time. Or else, you will just spend something for nothing at all. Total waste of money.

3. If you need to schedule or reserve for the claim date, do it at an earlier time
- This is the number one issue for people with vouchers... They usually procrastinate. "Wala pa yan, hindi pa end yung deal, pwede pa yan"... Is the usual thinking of these people with vouchers. What they usually do is that they will cram on the last week or last day of claiming. Sometimes sellers or establishments are unable to honor the procrastinators due to seating capacity, limited something, etc. So you need to reserve a slot at an earlier time or you might waste that voucher of yours for not enjoying anything at all.

4. You need to follow the rules.
- You are governed by the deal's Terms and Conditions. By clicking the "Buy" button, you agree to the deal's detail/s and you are expected to follow them. Need I say more?

Okay, they are not that horrible, come to think of it. But I would usually check the deals first before clicking the "Buy" button. As a general rule, you can never count on the items that they post as original or authentic. However, you can actually enjoy the services that they post like spa, manicure, etc and also the food deals (most of the time popular establishments have them) than the bags and accessories.

Oh well, I guess I will have to post some more should I come across something that's helpful.


Tsk Tsk!!!

I totally hate my phone right now...

A couple of days ago, I was having issues with my phone's Skype app. I tried logging out of Skype and log back in. Well, my phone did not do what it was supposed to do (log me back in). I was tempted to uninstall the app and reinstall using my phone's Windows Phone Store. No Skype app found. I tried and tried and tried and tried and finally, I searched for an article regarding my app's current condition.

So basically, what happened is that Windows retired the Skype app from Windows 7 users (I got my phone updated to Windows 7.8) and it will no longer be available to anyone with a Windows 7 OS. It worked perfectly fine without the updates, I can do seamless video calls and chats with it, no problems. But with the BS article that Windows released regarding the issue, I can say that this is totally an unnecessary thing to do. My phone is a Windows Phone. Even if it was already phased out, iOS and Android still has it... Not yet retired from those Operating Systems... I am a fan of Windows and I am very happy with my phone. But when Microsoft bought Nokia, I guess that's when things went downhill...

I am actually thinking of moving to iOS or maybe going back to Android. Maybe then I will be able to utilize the apps for free and I will not have the displeasure of having an app retired from my phone because it's more accessible. To be honest, I am quite impressed with my phone. It's fluid, user friendly and super easy to use. I like my phone very much (BTW, my phone is a Nokia Lumia 900 - Windows Phone 7.8) and very much willing to buy another Lumia phone. But the way Microsoft is playing the field is really irritating. I know that iOS and Android are two very stiff competitors for Windows OS but Microsoft should have known better. I know that they're better than this and I am still hoping that they reinstate Skype on Windows 7 users like me. I will be more than willing to upgrade to a new Windows Phone device should this miracle happen.

But for now... I am super pissed off!!!

Friday, August 15, 2014


Okay, I'm going to start ranting like a squirrel right now. I am just soooo pissed off right now...

I have this previous co-worker who actually requested for me to lend my card for a single purchase of 90 pesos. It's for a game. Being the kind person that I am, I said yes and let her continue with it. Come bank cutoff, I saw purchases amounting to 1K already. I told her about the charges and she said she's going to pay for it. I already resigned from the company due to internal issues with HR and no payments still. Until the charges ballooned to 4 thousand pesos already. Seeing that it's already a big amount and a huge issue, I went to my previous company to talk to her. She requested for the SOAs with the charges in question, so I complied. I even highlighted the charges and computed the totals per month, and it was also written on the topmost page of the copies.

I am currently out of job and we badly need the money. If I have a job and making lots of money, I would not be bothering her with these charges. Today is their pay day. I texted her, called her even and I only got the "she's busy", "she's doing something" crap that some people do when they want to escape or something. I received a text from my guy saying that she computed for the charges and there were some google charges that were not hers. And she does not like it when I call her on her mobile phone because it's a merchant phone and whathaveyous... And she does not appreciate what I am doing regarding the situation... It's like I'm wrong because I was asking her to pay. Whatthehell???

These are the things that I am super irritated at the moment:

1. YOU asked me to lend you 90 pesos. It ballooned to 4500 pesos. No pay after 7 freaking months!!!
2. YOU said "Yes, I will pay for it"
3. YOU said that you are just waiting for decision on the paycheck dispute. I understood and gave you ENOUGH time to make up for the payments
4. YOU even asked for the copies of the SOAs. My boyfriend did not approve of it but I still provided you with the copies so that you have a tangible proof of the charges
5. YOU asked for our account numbers so that you can deposit them already
6. Today is payday.
7. And now you are acting as if I did something wrong.
8. YOU do not reply to my texts, FB messages, LINE messages and calls
9. It's only now that you decide to get angry of the "charges" that were not yours. I messaged you gazillion times months ago about this and you only brought this up TODAY???
10. The best part of it: YOU are acting as if I have a huge debt to pay

I know that I did something wrong: I actually let her borrow the card. But I never thought that she will be such a HUGE liability on my part. The original amount that she requested was only 90 pesos. Had I known that this will happen, I would not have let her use the card.

My golly, I am super frustrated with this. And super irritated.

Burn in hell, bitch. Burn in hell...

Thursday, August 14, 2014


As I made mention during my previous blog post, I am currently unemployed.

And I am now starting to feel the pressure of not working. For starters, I do not have enough money to pay for my utilities. And I noticed that I have become a very lazy person. I usually just eat, sleep and surf the net, etc. I am already looking for a job but it seems to me that companies don't even take a good look at my resume. I don't know...

I am not a college graduate.

I am currently on my third year of college but companies look for someone who earned a degree. I will... In errr.... two or three years? Not sure.

I do not want another callcenter job. I am not happy with being an agent anymore. It's hard and it's also making me feel oh so stressed. It's irritating. I just don't want to be one anymore.

I want to make a difference... I don't know how I will get this. It's hard.

I am already applying for jobs, even work from home type of jobs... I do not stand a chance in the corporate world if those corporate monkeys are always looking for someone who earned a degree. Eff this world.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

I am writing this entry mainly to let off some aches in my heart. I have been dealing with this for three months already. I just want to make sure that I have everything here so that I can get it off my chest.

Four years ago, my dad was diagnosed with COPD. For those of you who do not know anything about this illness:

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), also known as chronic obstructive lung disease (COLD), andchronic obstructive airway disease (COAD), among others, is a type of obstructive lung disease characterized by chronically poor airflow. It typically worsens over time. The main symptoms include shortness of breath, cough, and sputum production.

COPD usually gets gradually worse over time and can ultimately result in death. It is estimated that 3% of all disability is related to COPD.


So there. Main cause of the disease is actually smoking. My dad was a heavy smoker. He just stopped smoking when he could not walk anymore. 

The last two years was very hard for all of us, especially my father. Because that's the moment that we knew that his condition was actually getting worse, he would always have difficulty breathing, he's always complaining of shortness of breath and he cannot walk that much anymore. He was used to always going out of the house to go to the OTB, go out with his friends, etc. But since he was having a very hard time walking, he was then kept at home to make sure that nothing unfortunate happen to him. This was also the time that I was not with my mom and dad. I as with my sister and my nephew that time, taking care of the baby and doing housework, and minding my love life during weekends. I seldom go to my parents house because there's no one to take care of my nephew when my sister's out for work. Or maybe because I keep telling myself that nothing's going to happen. The doctor gave us more or less one year or less and he already told us that there's no cure for my father's condition.

The day came when my sister, nephew and I moved back to Sucat (my mom and dad's place) that I started seeing my parents. My sister was then pregnant with my second nephew. My father's situation worsened over time and with that, I still was not going to my parents' unit for daily visits. I don't know why but I just don't. My faher's always looking for me, my mom says.

My father was rushed to the hospital December 2013 because he had a blood-tinged urine and he's complaining of stomach pains. That's the only time that I got to spend with my father... In the hospital. After the hospital thing, we then moved him to our unit so that we can monitor him closely. This was also the time that he was not able to hold his urine anymore, he cannot feel a thing if he's also defecating. This is mainly because his spine is already compacted, he cannot sense any bowel movement anymore. That's also the time that he's having difficulty walking. We had to buy him a walking stick/guide so he can then walk slowly. He also cannot have time without his oxygen tank. 

He was again rushed to the hospital because of a seizure. We then found out that he already had two attacks of stroke. This was the time that he was sent to the ICU for the first time. My dad spent a week in the ICU then back to the normal room. He stayed in the hospital for almost a month. This was very hard time for us since we do not have any money. We had to borrow a lot of money from people so that we can get him out of the hospital.

We then bought a hospital bed so that he can be more comfortable. He was given medications after. We would buy his medicines amounting to Php 5,000.00 a day. It was very stressful and hard for all of us. This was also the time that we felt that he was slowly slipping away, deteriorating.

Two weeks after the first hospitalization, he was again rushed to the hospital. He then spent 5 days in the ICU and then back to the ward. Since we really cannot do anything about his condition at this point in time, we were already preparing for the worst thing to happen.

We then decided to bring him back home. After a few days of stay in the house, we then noticed that he was only breathing but he was always asleep. We only fed him through tube. Even so, he is not responding to anything. After a few days, we then noticed a sudden drop on his oxygen levels, he is not anymore reacting to anything. He was like... Physically there but he's not reacting or responding to anything that we do. Until one day, my father passed away. We were all distraught.

I was at work the very day my father died. Before walking out of the house, I took one look at my father and I heard something or someone telling me to "Say Goodbye" to my dad. My proud self just walked away and did not even bother kissing him or saying goodbye to him.

I have been like this for such a long time now, I don't know why but I just don't show my emotions to anyone in my family. Most especially my dad. I know that I have been a very bad person for not even bothering to even take a look at him, for not even bothering to spend more time with him. If I could only turn back the time, I would have grabbed every opportunity to be with him and to share everything to him. I did not even bother to tell him how much I love him and I appreciate everything he did for the family and for me.

I am full of regrets right now, how I wish I could have done something to make him feel how much I value him. Truly, you will never know how much a person's worth until the day comes that the person is not with you anymore. I am crying as I type this down.

It now dawned upon me everything that my father did for me, the big things and the small things. How I acted like a spoiled bitch around him. I was a very bad daughter, and I wish I could take it all back.

To My Papa,

I am sorry for the way that I treated you when you were still here with us. I wish I could take it all back and do the right thing to do. Even so, I still think that you have done a great job in taking care of everyone in the family. I am truly sorry for all the bad things that I have done. I know that I was a very big disappointment and I want to tell you how much I love you. I wish I can turn back time, I'd do everything differently. Thank you for everything that you's shared with us. I know that I was your favorite daughter. I am so sorry that I did not bother spending time with you when you are in pain and suffering. I am sorry for the way I treated you, I am sorry for talking back and not understanding how you are feeling. I am truly very sorry for every wretched thing that I have done. If only there's a way for me to tell you how much I love you, I love you very much. How I wish you're still here with us.

I love you and I am very sorry for everything.

- Oan

Late Post!!!

Hey guys,

Sorry, I was not able to update this blog for almost three weeks now. Been busy doing all sorts of things lately. Mainly school stuff. This week is already our first block's "Hell Week" or Finals Week. Been super busy with my final requirements plus the pressures of exams this coming Saturday. Anyway, here's what I've been up to for the past few weeks:

1. I went to the Rainbow Loom Philippines' Loom Night
- Well, this took place last August 25 at McDonald's Wilson (San Juan). It was good, I met new friends (fellow loomers like me) and I got to chat with the supplier of original Rainbow Loom and Monster Tail here in the Philippines. I also met Ms. Raissa Puno  Diaz and she was our teacher for the night. :) I did not do most of the patterns because I already did those designs so I settled to talking with Ms. Marge instead. :) I also scored a set of jelly bands (refill bands) and a membership card as well. :) I love looming because it keeps me calm and I just like the thought of creating something cute and very wearable. I went ahead and made bands for everyone in the family. They're my guinea pigs haha!

2. One week (ish) stay at Ted's place
- Well, this was my favorite part. I just loooove being with my boyfriend. He makes me feel so comfortable and I just love him. :) I stayed at his place for almost a week and did practically nothing as I was not feeling good at the time. (I got fever) so he mostly took care of me that time. I just like it when he comes home from work and I am the very first person that he sees.

3. Attended classes at PUP-OU
- Well, this one's quite uneventful. There was a little skirmish one day before offline classes but I was surprised to know that no one actually spoke about it. Well, I was not the main character in that episode so I did not bother anyone asking about it. Haha!

4. Got terminated at work
- Well, I had this one coming. I did not care at that time since I got soooo tired of everything. So there. No one to blame but myself for this.

5. Went home and bonded with my family
- So I went home to be with my mom and my nephews. I just want to be with them as much as possible. I know that my father's death was a very big blow to my mother's life so I want to make sure that I am there to support her and make her laugh or talk to her. I do not show any emotion regarding this to my family. I guess I want them to feel that I am somewhat a toughie and I want them to see that I am stable. Though I know that I am already crushed and crumbled, I still want them to see that I am not in any way crying over these things. It might make my mom much sadder than she is right now. So there.

Basically, I am currently a bum looking for a normal Monday-Friday job with weekends off. I do not know what to do but I guess I have to roll with the punches.

There. That's how my week went by. Haha!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Hello Dear Reader,

Just an update...

I am done with my assignment for school! Yay!

I am super happy because I worked hard for that freakin' assignment. Yay! Just couldn't hold my happiness. Haha!

Anyway, I did not do anything today. I got a text from 2 companies and they are asking me to attend their interview thingy. I don't know what to do. Anyway, I hope that I'll get a normal office job (day job, Monday-Friday with weekends off and no office during holidays...) I was waiting for that to happen but sad to say, it did not happen. Anyway, I would like to be a part of the normal people. I just hope it will come true sooner...

BTW, got to go, I have to get ready to go to bed, haha!


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Hi guys, I am currently studying (and blogging at the same time...) and I need a breather, I cannot simply write a five-minute speech right now. Anyway, it's a hard task considering the fact that:

1. I am having a writer's block
2. I am not a company CEO, nor an executive assistant or a speech writer for someone
3. I am feeling a little bit sleepy
4. I am slacking off for a bit
5. Did I mention I am having a writer's block?

Anyway, I asked my boyfriend to read my speech.. And laugh at it. I really don't know what to do!

I think I am having a little bit of progress with my work (I think) so I guess I have to continue what I am doing. Haha!

Will post about this later. :)

Monday, July 21, 2014

Sorry to bombard you with lots of posts. I don't know why I feel the need to post a lot of things on my blog. Maybe, it's something I need to do to keep me sane. I still have a lot of things to do with school. I have pending assignments in three subjects and we have a deadline set in two days. My goodness, haha! But it's okay, I can manage it... I can do it!

One of the few remaining factors why I want to finish school is of course, my mom and my boyfriend. Apart from the fact that I need to finish College to land a decent job, I think these are the main reasons why I want to finish my degree. Well, my boyfriend wants me to retain my single name (well, bear my father's last name) when I graduate. He then promised my mom that the only time that we can then marry is after my graduation. So there... And my mom is actually holding on to that promise. I am currently a third year College student, but with sooo many subjects left behind during my first two years of academic life. Well, I guess I just got too lazy to accomplish things. But this time, I would like to take things seriously. I am not getting any younger.

Let me explain how the Open University system works (well, at least with my school)

The thing is, if you enroll in PUP Open University, there are only two degrees offered -  Entrepreneuship and Broadcast Communication. I am taking up Broadcast Communication. What happens is that you get to have pretty much (I think) the same amount of subjects a normal student has (full load). Per semester, we get to have 10 subjects. Here comes the good part... The 10 subjects will be separated into two blocks. Meaning, you get to attend the first 5 subjects during the first block and the remaining 5 will be taken at the remaining half of the semester. You only go to school twice a month (Saturdays) and most of the work is done by yourself. Same goes with major subjects. You do all the research and reading. On the third and fourth session you get to take your midterms and finals. Easy? Well, it depends on the subject actually. But it's attainable.

The school aims to help people who wants to continue their degree. This actually caters to working students that's why they made the system like that. I have no issues whatsoever with the system, I am actually enjoying my stay and I have friends. It's like attending a normal school. Haha! The best part? I only pay around Php 4,000 - 5,000 per semester. It's very affordable. :)

So I guess I am actually enjoying my stay. I wish to graduate in time. I want to graduate already... Oh my!


I got my URL back!!!

I used to have the same URL waaaaaay back. But then someone hacked into my account and deleted my blog. Someone then used my URL to create a new "blank" blog. I guess since it was not anymore active, it got deleted. Anyway, I am back to my old URL... So happy!

Hmm, what happened with me since 2007, you ask? Well, to give you a rundown of things:

- broke up with my ex, found a new guy, broke up with him, found a new one (we're turning 5 years this October! Woohoo!)
- I already have two nephews care of my older sister. :)
- Now attending school. I'm already on my third year of College. If you will be asking how old I am, I am 25, turning 26 this year. And yes, you read right... I am on my third year of College. I'll talk about it later on)
- Dad died 3 months ago due to COPD and complications. I am still sad and still coping with the loss. Will post about it later on
- resigned from my old work, found a new job, resigned again, found a new job, resigned again, found a new job, was forced to resign (with HR bullying me and all that stuff...), found another job and now... Bound to be terminated any day now...

Not so good recap, right? I don't know... I seem to have lost the "fire" that keeps me going... I don't know. I am not motivated, I am insecure and I am not getting any better jobs because I am still an undergraduate. I am attending an "Open University" - a school that caters to those people who are already working and wants to have better career opportunities. It's actually PUP Open University - or "Sintang Paaralan" as others say.

I am still having a "writer's block" of some sort. I have been like this since 2006. I don't know what happened with me but yeah, still unable to write. So if you have any issues with what I am writing about right now, I am so sorry. Now you know why you are reading this crappy article about a whiny 25 year old. Haha! But I wish to improve on  it...

I currently have so many insecurities right now.. Well, career-wise. My classmates seem to be on the roll with their careers. Some have high positions or pertinent jobs already and this leaves me with nothing. I have never been this down in the dumps. But lately, I grew tired of everything and I just want to stop and not think of anything. I can't seem to find my real purpose, my true career path. I want my career to be something else. I don't want to be stuck in a call center, taking calls and just stomach the customer's angry rants, complaints and whathaveyous... I want to be someone who enjoys her job so much and will hold onto it as much as possible. I want to be a great person. I want to earn a lot. But it seems that I cannot do so given the circumstances. I just don't know what to do.

This is the very first time that I felt something like this. Oh dear Lord, I pray for a better chance of employment, while at the same time, please give me a chance to finish my degree. Just a few semesters left, I need to be someone pertinent.

I think I am having some sort of Quarter Life Crisis. Sheesh!

I just feel so lost, and I feel as if everyone my age are already having the time of their life. I am lagging behind them. Life used to be so easy... But now, everything seems to be messed-up. I don't know how long will this last but I am still on this stage. I wish for this to go away.