Monday, July 21, 2014


I got my URL back!!!

I used to have the same URL waaaaaay back. But then someone hacked into my account and deleted my blog. Someone then used my URL to create a new "blank" blog. I guess since it was not anymore active, it got deleted. Anyway, I am back to my old URL... So happy!

Hmm, what happened with me since 2007, you ask? Well, to give you a rundown of things:

- broke up with my ex, found a new guy, broke up with him, found a new one (we're turning 5 years this October! Woohoo!)
- I already have two nephews care of my older sister. :)
- Now attending school. I'm already on my third year of College. If you will be asking how old I am, I am 25, turning 26 this year. And yes, you read right... I am on my third year of College. I'll talk about it later on)
- Dad died 3 months ago due to COPD and complications. I am still sad and still coping with the loss. Will post about it later on
- resigned from my old work, found a new job, resigned again, found a new job, resigned again, found a new job, was forced to resign (with HR bullying me and all that stuff...), found another job and now... Bound to be terminated any day now...

Not so good recap, right? I don't know... I seem to have lost the "fire" that keeps me going... I don't know. I am not motivated, I am insecure and I am not getting any better jobs because I am still an undergraduate. I am attending an "Open University" - a school that caters to those people who are already working and wants to have better career opportunities. It's actually PUP Open University - or "Sintang Paaralan" as others say.

I am still having a "writer's block" of some sort. I have been like this since 2006. I don't know what happened with me but yeah, still unable to write. So if you have any issues with what I am writing about right now, I am so sorry. Now you know why you are reading this crappy article about a whiny 25 year old. Haha! But I wish to improve on  it...

I currently have so many insecurities right now.. Well, career-wise. My classmates seem to be on the roll with their careers. Some have high positions or pertinent jobs already and this leaves me with nothing. I have never been this down in the dumps. But lately, I grew tired of everything and I just want to stop and not think of anything. I can't seem to find my real purpose, my true career path. I want my career to be something else. I don't want to be stuck in a call center, taking calls and just stomach the customer's angry rants, complaints and whathaveyous... I want to be someone who enjoys her job so much and will hold onto it as much as possible. I want to be a great person. I want to earn a lot. But it seems that I cannot do so given the circumstances. I just don't know what to do.

This is the very first time that I felt something like this. Oh dear Lord, I pray for a better chance of employment, while at the same time, please give me a chance to finish my degree. Just a few semesters left, I need to be someone pertinent.

I think I am having some sort of Quarter Life Crisis. Sheesh!

I just feel so lost, and I feel as if everyone my age are already having the time of their life. I am lagging behind them. Life used to be so easy... But now, everything seems to be messed-up. I don't know how long will this last but I am still on this stage. I wish for this to go away.

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